It's been over 7 years now; I was in my second biggest loser contest at my local city rec-center... I was aqua jogging on the deep end of the pool, all alone... I enjoy being alone in the deep end, doing my own thing... going at my own pace. The month was September; two days till the end of our second contest and two days till my 40th Born on Date.
While water jogging in 9 to 12 feet deep waters, suddenly an old-so-new feeling come over me; I recalled this sensation from some years back, yet this time it was accompanied by fear. Perhaps it was the familiarity of something is wrong or perhaps it was the OMG not in the deep end of the pool!!!!! NO!!! Not here!!!
Me being me, not wanting to disrupt the class with my issues, I hastily attempted to return to the shallow side of the pool. Anywhere, my feet could touch bottom. However, there was heaviness in my chest, my breathing became labored and I had to slow down or I would never see the shallow end of the pool....
My mind said; use your arms and not your legs... Legs are larger muscles needing more oxygen; arms are smaller muscles needing less oxygen... so I flapped my arms through the water until I was on the other side of the pool... The heaviness had grown worse now; the good news was my feet were touching bottom... I walked to and fro through the shallow end, to cool down before abandoning the pool. And still I said nothing, for there was an hour of class-time to go.
Finally climbing from the pool, I grabbed my back pack and headed for the shower... It felt as if, I was in a slow-motion picture show or the Matrix’s black & white addition… I stood in the shower wondering what now? Slowly I made it to the dressing stalls and began dressing. Time for me had slowed to a crawl…
One half of my brain said speak up, the other said, “Girl U got this; it’s probably nothing.” Five years earlier, I said, it’s probably nothing and it was something. I said the same thing 2 years before that, and it was something. I always know it’s something, but in that moment I simply desire not to verbalize it or even want to accept it… because I must first grapple with what I know will be another inconvenience for me.
Class was over and the ladies had dressed and gone. I was still in the stalls attempting to dress myself. A voice cried out Kimmi, where are you. It was my workout partner PAIN; she earned her name due to all the women who left her workouts barely able to climb out of the pool.
Anywho: Pain was late that day and thus was not in the pool with me. However at my worst moment, Pain entered the locker room in search of me, and found me barely making it. I had managed to wash, dry, and dress, but I could not bend over and tie my shoes, I simply did not have enough air in my windpipes. I was crying before I knew the tears were spilling down my face. Pain pulled the curtain back, “Girl, are you ok?”
I nodded yes, and kelp trying to reach my shoes. Pain squatted and tied my shoes the whole time saying, “I don’t tie my kids’ shoes, damn!” I laughed as she went on complaining and grabbing my things together that I could finally leave the locker room.
Two hours and ten minutes from the time I vacated the pool, I was finally out the locker room. Usually from pool to fully dressed, takes me 40 minutes. My timing has always been slow in comparison to the other women but then again right on time for me; this time my timing made me afraid. The next day I visited my Cardiologist, Dr. Josheph Billadello, I was immediately hospitalized, and on the morning of my 40th born-on-date,
|Dr. Joseph Billadello Cardiologist (The Best)|
By the way, I won that biggest loser contest. The pot was $250.00 all mine.