One thing I overheard my father say one day was, "NO MAN WANTS AN IGNORANT WOMAN." I was eleven when I first heard those words and that day I made a list of books I would read and learn. First on my list was my library of Encyclopedia Britannica books, which I begged my mother to buy a year earlier, next was my King James Bible, and then my mothers library of child psychology books, astronomy books, and social science books (at the time my mother was in college studying child psychology, that in itself yielded me many interesting reads). I read every book on my list cover to cover. When I bored with one book I would switch to another, adding variety to my daily reading regimen. In my mind, I would never be one of those IGNORANT WOMEN; I overheard my Daddy speaking of... Sista
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Human nature is human nature, no matter where on earth we live. Love will always be love, honor will always be honor, and respect will always be respect. Regardless of where we live in the world, happiness will always start and end within. A week ago someone tagged me in a post, and I had the opportunity to view this so called letter from a White woman, with a response from a so called Black man… I read it through, and refused to post it to my timeline or even comment on it. Again it was one of those women bashing post, particularly the Black woman. In the same week or perhaps the same day, the video “Frustrated: Black American Men in Brazil” was posted to a group thread, and I decided to watch. The first evening, I sort of haphazardly listened while eventually falling asleep. The next day I attempted to watch again, but did not complete it. Perhaps, it was the bashing of African American Women, or the mix message of the documentary. Either way, I did not see it through to the end. Last night, I watched it through and through.
Here’s my opinion: Black Women, White Women, Brazilian, Asian, Jamaican, South American, Central American, Canadian, or African (from the continent of Africa); Women simply desire to love and be loved, by a loving, supportive, and protective man. If we use LOVE as our template we would see we are all the same. Unfortunately, we live in a society of divide and conquer. Man against woman, Woman against man, Blacks against Whites, Whites against Blacks, and all the shades of color in-between. As for the subject of Black men and women in America, we have long since been brainwashed to believe White women or more compliant, feminine and willing to cater to their man; while in contrast Black women are loud, obnoxious and overbearing eager to control her man. In both scenarios’ I am sure if you looked, you would find just that. Yet and still I guarantee if you continue to look, you would find just the opposite.
All this nit-picking leaves both men and women unfulfilled and unhappy, scurrying to people and places that may or may not be beneficial to their search for love. The bottom line: Finding a woman or man who best suits your personality and temperament takes time, and we may kiss a few frogs & froggets along the way. However, we must not allow those negative experiences to embitter us; but rather allow the experience to prune us. Pruning helps us to prepare for the direction we desire to grow toward, by removing unwanted pessimistic intentions, which may have possibly drawn the last unsuccessful relationship into our existence.
Not to be redundant, however consequently, when we begin to compare one woman to another or one man to another, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. All comparisons of this nature are meant to divide and conquer, to humiliate and debase; these nonsensical evaluations of ethnicities, are nothing more than mental anarchy. And, it is this same confusing mentality that has been used throughout history, pitting the light skinned Blacks against the dark skinned Blacks; a more exaggerated form of this tactic was used in Rwanda (central Africa) pitting the Hutus against the Tutsis; in both scenarios, the ideal of ethnic superiority created enemies; friend against friend, neighbor against neighbor, and family member against family member. When will we ever comprehend, we all emanate from the same source energy/creator. Have we not learned ridicule only begets ridicule? But love begets love!
Black Man, Black Woman, if it is your desire to love and be loved; first one must start with oneself. Let us stop with the intimidation tactics. I am reminded of a thought I had, after spending a day working in a school designed specifically for children with special needs. I watched how each child had one on one instruction; with top of the line computer software and gadgets to enhance their learning experience. My thoughts that day were, “Wow, if these children can excel with one on one treatment, aided by advance learning tools, how much more would this approach aid the children in regular, old, everyday, public School.”
I make mention of this to say, If men and women put as much energy in loving one another as they do attempting to discredit and debase one another, then surely we could build meaningful and loving relationships…
What U think?
Can we all just get along?
Monday, February 25, 2013
It's funny how we (people of color, BLACK) are always told to forget those things which are behind and press forward. We are told this by mass-media, on college campuses, and in our religious literature. Yet when we go for jobs, home loans, or hospital/doctor visits, we are always asked for our past history, work history, credit history, medical history, and maternal & paternal history... yet when it comes to the history of our people (people of color, AFRICAN's in America = BLACK's) and the learning of our existence here on this continent... with all the ill fated degradation and debauchery which was heaped upon us; we are told "NO PAST HISTORY REQUIRED... We are told to forget; forget the countless souls brought here by forced migration, in chains and bondage. Bound to a land where fathers now die senselessly, not for his sins, but for the color of his skin... And forget the black man and his inventions, forget the black man and his accomplishments with peanuts, and forget the black man whose surgical technique is responsible for saving hundreds of infants with congenital heart defects. Yes we are told to forget the pass as it truly was/is... and forget the pain of ignorance our foreparents endured to make this land what it is today... The wealth of this nation was formed by their hands and built on their backs... and yet we are told to forget and to submit to learning a History void of any record of us (BLACK FOLKS) being nothing more than slaves... “Those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it."
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Sunday, July 22, 2012
It is not easy walking away from someone who holds your heart in their hands. I offered my love unconditionally, unreserved, unrestricted and intentionally to you. I gave of myself, honestly and truthfully to you. My smile was the indication that all was right in the world between me and you. I told you of myself candidly and directly, exposing all my vulnerabilities. Nothing was withheld from you, my time, my efforts, my love, my joy, my pain, my sorrows, my finances; no not anything was withheld from you.
I thought you were my prayer answered by GOD and I wanted you. From the crown of your head to the soles of your feet, I wanted you. I was taken by you, swept off my feet by you, hoping to never land but if I had to, I desired to land in the arms of you. You were my new beginning, my fresh start, the person my soul had sought long and hard. Funny thing, I thought I heard you say, ‘You sought prayerfully for me too.’ Your words caressed my itching ears; your arms held me in loving embrace, your kiss was the nectar my lips had longed to taste. Was it all a mistake? Because I know in our quiet moments, I saw reflections of love in your face, each time we embraced. Mr. Sussix was it a mistake?
Ding, ding the alarm rings and the weekend brings tender kisses and well wishes of you and me being one. You take me to meet the family, hangout on your home street, dancing in clubs familiar to your feet. Back home we laugh and drink, making love under, over and between the sheets. Not minutes but hours our flesh is one as we rock and roll in synchronicity, our hearts matching each other’s beat. You drank from my fountains while caressing my mountains, then diving into my sea of concupiscence. Loves radiance covered me, and I believed.
I believed the lies you spewed to me, I desired to be all you needed me to be. Then one afternoon, it all went away, I saw the change, but I did not wish to believe it was true. No not so soon! I did not want to lose you, but you were slipping, slipping, slipping far from my embrace, in the shadow of 16 hour days. From 11:15pm to 3:45pm I was old news, used goods, and unfortunately your forgotten muse; a jump off they call it in slang. Regrettably, you confused your wants with your needs, and decided to degrade me, making mockery of me. “I’ve had better than you”, you said to me and completed it with, “I can get three more like you”!!!
Behind my back you talked under my clothes defaming my name as you claim to have loved me. The man who first built me up began tearing me down lie after lie, mal-intent after mal-intent, insult after insult, confusion after confusion. And when I finally struck back in anger and rage, fist clinched, voice raised, letting my words stab and gab at you, that was all the fuel you needed; so you accused me of being the problem, the setback, the dilemma, when all along it was you confused and unassured of you. I was always sure of me.
Tragically, we crashed in a burning heat of resentment and fury, and each day hence I have wept; mourning the absence of what we could have built. Now on this Sunday eve, I sit and pen these words to free my heart of this sorrowful burden. Mr. Sussix, I wish you well and pray someday you will come to realize the LOVER you seek dwells inside, and once you find that love you seek you will be able to love others unconditionally, as I have loved you.
LOVE U Mr. Sussix…. Always in always…. Kim
Friday, July 20, 2012
I am having trouble finding something to do with myself, now that this four month affair has ended. On one hand I am hurt yet wanting him to return, even if it is just to apologize for involving me in his mess. On the other hand however, I am grateful I am free and there is no need for apologies, for I too am guilty. I know it was not all him, it was also me. I allowed for the deception and the lies. I catered to what I finally realized was an untruth. Yes, I am as guilty as he. Now I must forgive myself. Now I must forgive him. Now I must let the healing begin. Now I fully know and comprehend the lesson this experience has taught me. Lesson learned I will never again be the other woman; this is a promise to me.
The thrill is gone, gone away for good. He's done me wrong and I had to let him go on his way. Perhaps the universe will make him pay; to GOD I release my pain. He truly brought out the worst in me, and that very first time I should have walked away, but I didn't, I stayed. And all staying did was multiply the rage, so things escalated and quiet little me became very very very angry. Striking out in pain, I landed a blow or two across his face; needless to say it’s finally over. My character has been tainted, and my perception changed, 4 short months felt like 4 long years, and now I must take the next 4 months to reevaluate myself. No one will be allowed to get under my skin again.